13/6/2026 - Games, Movies, oh my!Happy Pride!!
The last month has passed like a blur -- probably because I was sick for half of it with the dreaded Covid-19. I'm much better now, but I have to still wait out a nagging cough that will probably last for months. Truly the most homophobic thin that could happen in June.
...Also it got passed to my partner so maybe this is a hate crime?? We had to skip a renfaire because of this. The nerve.
Though, it gave me a lot of time during recovery to engage in media again. I got to watch:
- GOAT (Beautiful art, okay story)
- I Saw the TV Glow (I'll be writing a review of it in my media page...after I recover from being absolutely destroyed.)
- The Good Place (A comfort rewatch!)
- The Amazing Digital Circus Finale
The last I got to watch in theatres once I was recovered and testing negative!
I have some thoughts of it, but I might want to rewatch the whole series together to solidify my opinion of it. I enjoyed it...but I also found myself wanting more.
Oh, and I got to reading two books, "Several People are Typing..." and "The Priory of the Orange Tree". I'm still reading the latter, and I'm extremely taken by it! Best read I've had in a while, probably after reading qntm's writing.
So I have a lot of media reviews to go through ahh...
Though also, I'm thinking of changing how I approach these because I'm finding out that I don't actually enjoy...writing long reviews? I thought that it would help me structure my thoughts and be critical about how a story is being delivered, how I interpreted it, perhaps to also be more intentional in the way I could 'analyse' it. But it just feels like a chore, and truth be told most of what I feel after finishing something is summed up as 'neat!'.
Maybe calling it a 'review' gave myself a false impression of this haha, since it's as if I'm putting pressure on myself to be intellectual about it. I'm wondering if 'recommendations' would be more accurate...or 'thoughts'. Hm.
Restructuring
I've been dabbling in making a whole new layout for my website, one that does not rely so heavily on iframes to carry it.
I don't actually have an issue with it...? It's neat and convenient for me to maintain, which is also exactly the issue. I want more freedom with layouts and if I can restructure how I approach the styling and layout, it would be more possible.
So far I've gotten uh, this.
It's extremely barebones, but making a layout from scratch has been helpful in learning HTML and CSS. I've been relying quite heavily on petrapixel's tutorials and explanations and it has been such a godsend. I highly recommend checking her out if you are a newbie like me too!
Kinda crazy, I only just learnt that you can stack multiple classes into a single div, and that you can also add specific constraints for a specific div?
An example:
.box {
background-color: blah;
width: blah;
height:blah;
}
.box img {
width: 100%;
height: 100%;
object-fit: contain;
}
So all images in only .box will be styled this way! It certainly helps me organise my CSS better and optimise so I'm not creating different div classes just for one function.
I'll admit I still don't actually understand how to use IDs just yet, or how it is different from a class. I've seen it around but haven't tried to use it on my own, so I guess that's the next thing to figure out.
DELTARUNE AND KINGDOM HEARTS 4 ANNOUNCEMENT????
DELTARUNE CHAPTER 5 REAL!!! KH4 REAL!!! WHAT!!!
I watched the Nintendo Direct and these two were stacked one right after the other. Felt like I got sucker punched twice in a row, and then it follows up with Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time which. Hey, I've never played it. My first LoZ game was Breath of the Wild so it was not really part of my childhood. But it made me emotional anyway.
I also watched the Xbox Direct with my father and sister. It's kinda...I won't say tradition, but my dad was a huge reason why I got into games and we primarily played on the Xbox 360. So it just felt right to watch it with him.
So you can imagine when the direct opened with Gears of War: Emergence Day, me and my sister screeched. It was really funny that it started with a bunch of 18+ Ratings, and then watching the trailer go on and thinking: "That gun is VERY familiar" and "those guys all have bulky bodies..??" and' IS THAT DOM????".
Seeing Marcus in everyday clothing is so wild too.
This is a maybe an overblown response for someone who never played Gears of War, but I spent my kid years watching my father play this with his friends. I would sit in and watch him hack at the Locust hordes, and occasionally he would let me rev the chainsaw. It was too gruesome to catch my interest, but back then I was still intrigued.
Also...Fable real??? Now this was a game that I played a lot of. I'm excited but also somewhat cautious of how it will play out, because it looks like the format of it is more classic RPG like Dragon Age and Baldur's Gate. All great games, but I guess I'm not used to it in the Fable franchise.
I'm probably biased. I loved Fable 2 and kept looking forward to something similar, and I did enjoy the third installation as well, if the story was shorter than I'd like (and the choices seemed to all go down the drain at the end...).
Hm. We'll see when it's out.
I'm kinda sad that Elder Scrolls 6 is still MIA, but okay I'm happy to wait while they cook. Though what it says that a lot of these are continuations or remakes of older IPs? I want to support and get into new ones because it would be a breath of fresh air, but I can't say I'm terribly drawn to any that was shown. (Inclined to believe that it is also my own lack of searching, because in truth there are many games being released constantly.)
I did enjoy the trailer for Magicians: The Devil's Deal though. Something about using magic tricks as a base for actual magic and fighting is so cool. And the art style!! It's strikes me as something reminiscent of Arcane, with that more stylised but semi-realistic proportions and hand-painted texture. I'm not sure I'll pick it up, because nowadays I find that I am less able to play fast-pace first person games without feeling ill. But I hope for its success haha.
I have decided. Hard. HARD cutoff about work talk.
I tried initially, very loosely, but now it just actively makes me unhappy. I do think it's important to be recording these down for my own personal reflection, but it should stay...my own personal reflection.
Not on the internet haha.
Perhaps this is also prompted by the fact that everyone I've been talking to recently, all the topics I was able to contribute to has been career related. Admittedly I still do not know how to have that hard separation because again, my work IS my craft and I am proud of it despite the corporate slime on top of it. I also actually like the people that I'm around, so I doubt I'll entirely avoid talking about hanging with them either.
Just. No industry talk! Unless it explodes or something!
I've taken out some things I've said recently just because I was a shade too honest, and I just don't want it up on the net as a record. Nothing damning, but I feel safer this way.
So uh. I'm going to just...move on.
Focaccia Bread
I've been consistently making bread for my family every weekend for about a month! Extremely impressive, for a person who is incapable of holding down a hobby for more than that.
I will admit it takes a chunk out of me, because I am usually already tired. But it forces me to wake up earlier on Saturdays and I'm finding that I quite enjoy the morning.
While the bread rests-- I usually leave it for 2 hours-- I settle all the chores for the week and treat myself to coffee afterwards.
Speaking of...
Pour Over Coffee
There was no "getting good" at this. I think I've mentioned it briefly that I wanted to get into it, and thought there was a lot of skill involved but uh. Nah.
I find that I have the most fun trying out new flavours, so I shop around a little and try to find regional stores to buy beans from. A huge bonus if I can get it locally too -- a colleague of mine got beans that were infused with bourbon!
The ones I have now are these:
And I try to brew them differently every time, just to see what happens.
Though, what happens usually ends up with me drinking extremely mediocre brews that tastes like normal black coffee. My family and partner had mentioned that it all tastes the same to them (bitter) but I swear, there's a difference!
I was only once able to get them to like a brew, and it was because it was fruity ðŸ˜.
Eventually, when I have the space and time for it, I would like to get an espresso machine. It would open so many doors on what kind of coffee I make (or is that just a perception thing? Maybe once I do I realise the only thing I like is a mocha.) But I think it's more fun trying new recipes and getting people to try it.
Comics??
I've been chipping away at a thinly veiled commentary of the Times and, after a whole year of letting it rot in my notes app, finally took it out to clean up as readable script.
Reviews from my friends say the script reads well so obviously this will be mega-hit when it actually comes out(sarcasm).
I'm quite stoked about it because the idea is much more solid, but I also now need to actually design the characters and lock down the overall style used (i'm thinking of heavily using inkpen brushes, and have to figure out another section with a style that imitates the medieval manuscripts). All possible, but an uphill battle because personal art is something I struggle to complete on a good day.
Comics are a long haul, and the planning part has always been the bottleneck for me. I just know, once the designs and thumbnailing for the pages are done (my favourite part!), actually producing it will be somewhat less brainless.
...okay but let's actually get to doing it lol.
Other things...
Life is ok.
I've been in some kind of funk trying to figure out my next steps in life, because it feels like effectively I am stuck. Upward trajectory what? Everything that I want to do next is not up to me, and I just have to cope.
Maybe I need to be more comfortable with staying still and actually enjoying life. I think I need that reminder more.
...Maybe I'll paste an image of Haven somewhere over my desk, remindering me to chill out. Perhaps then, I don't feel like the world will end the next day.
...OH WAIT.
Tomodachi Life: Living the Dream
Alistair married Kiryu and got divorced in about 4 days. Lore accurate OC. Now Kiryu is crushing on Majima? Also accurate??
It has been very fun just watching things happen to the Miis, even if it's repetitive. I swear it used to be more fun on the DS version...or maybe that's the nostalgia lenses I have on.
My island is a collaborative work between me, my sister and partner. It's a little to pay homage to our original game, where me and my sister only had one cartridge and had to share. Mostly it is just plain fun to have crossover events with different characters.
For example. ...now my Mum is dating Sunday Oak from Honkai Star Rail.
...Hm. Not sure how I feel about that but okay...!!!!
I've played this to the point where we've unlocked all of the fountain wishes except for the plane tickets. Things have definitely slowed down (I guess when you have 3 people playing a game, it gets maxed out fast), and I won't deny it feels. Very small? I swore the game had much more in it's original iteration...
But it's still fun. I'll tune in to see what happens on this funky island.
work remains uh...the horrible thing is that, the work itself is fine. But I can't help but feel this hovering sense of dread. Not sure where it's from, but I can't care enough to place it.
Fun news: I'm in the process of getting a tattoo. I've been sitting on that decision for about...gosh, must be 6 years and more now? Because of lack of funds and priorities. Not going to share it online because of privacy, but it features crows. My first appointment is sometime this month!
I've also been more serious with strength training. I'm trying to establish a routine properly and it's been fun.
Silksong however, is kicking my ass. I got to Act 3 and everything is harder in a way that feels more punishing. For a while I've been dragging myself through Act 2, and now I need to put it down for a long time haha. Maybe when I'm less annoyed at dying for the nth time, I'll play it again.
Of course that leaves me with no game to play at the moment. Currently I've been trying to occupy my time with preparing for a DnD campaign of my own, or chipping away at a comic idea that has been stewing over the last 2 years.
I have the scripts out, and just need to finalise character designs before I start thumbnailing. In my experience, afterward it tends to be fairly smooth sailing. I'm somewhat apprehensive because I'm being quite ambitious and trying to *gasp*, draw backgrounds for this one. But I really want this to work out, so needs are a must.
...oh! Final note-worthy thing. I went to a Labour Day rally! I'm too tired to elaborate, but it was...nice. Being around people who cared and won't try make excuses for the society we live in.
I won't lie, the past month I've just been angry a lot. I'm hoping to direct it somewhere productive but right now I'm just letting myself feel it. Just...yep.
Ohooo vent time.
I'm gonna be talking about art! And probably industry stuff too because ultimately I cannot separate them
So work talk lol.
I feel like I'm stagnating. Hell, I know I am, I haven't drawn very much of my own personal works and a lot of creative muscles have not been worked, so there's this hovering fear that I'm falling behind.
This feeling has been present a lot over the past year. But recently it keeps. Hitting Me in the Face.
I think today it was sparked by looking at student portfolios who have gone through mentorships, and they are GOOD. These are people that are not even in the industry yet and they are so skilled!! Which is very inspiring, but I do worry about myself too because I simply don't measure up.
And I don't really mind that, because the younger generation always gets better and that's just how it is. It just means learning doesn't stop, but boy. Is it hard to focus on improving when I have other things to do.
I'm constantly grappling with the reality of adult life. Terribly mundane troubles like, how I have to put in effort in my social life now and WANT to. How I need to spend time with family, especially with them getting older. How I need maintain myself even, just daily necessities like chores, taking care of myself, working out so that my body doesn't just disintegrate...
And also I'm tired after being out of the house for almost 12 hours, just for work. The commute is long and the work hours are...work hours. The silver lining is that I don't do overtime -- but that is the bare minimum.
I hate how it comes to this, running into walls at every turn. Damned if you do, damned if you don't. It's not the worst situation to be in, but I am SO not in an economical class that can afford to fuck up.
This is just, horrible. This turned into something else beyond not improving my skills haha, I am angry at the times we are in and the situation at hand.
It will not stop me from creating even if it's slow and a constant up-hill battle. But it remains frustrating. And I'm going to just be spiteful about this forever.
i went to the gym today for the first time in forever im in pain now
but i need to get fitter lol so
wish me luck
Lollllll
At this point I just have to accept that I'm going to be horrible at keeping a habit.
For record's sake, the last time I updated my neocities was about 6 months ago. I've been logging things locally on my PC, but didn't post anything. This is usually how I approach my site anyway, it's just this time it was a long stretch without activity.
Uh. Okay. Life.
It's going.
It's taking some digging into my memory because it has been such a blur recently, but here are some highlights:
- Got into making Focaccia bread every weekend. My family likes it!
- Met a childhood friend who visited from overseas
- A lot of friend meet ups, actually? I'm making an active effort to keep up my social life and I enjoy it. Wild.
- Played through Hollow Knight. Finished most things except the final FINAL boss...so maybe I'm not done lol. But I need a break.
- Playing through Silksong. Why is it so much harder. I'm currently in Act 2 and I'm constantly lost. This is the first time in a while I had to consult a game guide because I genuinely went around not knowing what to do
- Got Obsidian Sync and found myself writing a whole lot more now that I can carry my notes around with me on multiple devices. Yes, I know I could have just used GitHub as a sync service, of sorts. I just didn't mind paying for a service and I'm too lazy to do the set-up.
- Got super into pour-over coffee. I don't fuss about techniques or temperatures so much but I do really like trying things out. A long time ago I said I wanted to get into tea...well, uh. Coffee won out in the end.
Ooookay, so! Some rambly thoughts about this place.
I did plan to have this as my second home, to have a space that truly is my own and I think I achieved that! Okay maybe not the second home part, since I believe that requires a consistency I have not brought at all, but I created something with knowledge I didn't have prior to this. As janky as it is, I am proud of it. I still have ideas of what I want to do with this place, and while I do not have the means or any real interest for it at the moment, it's still there.
But nowadays, a lot of where my 'life' is, is actually offline. I'm trying to experience the world for what it is, spend time engaging with my hobbies and discovering new ones. My family, partner and friends occupy a lot of my free time too, and while life is busy I think it's worth it. Something something, get comfortable with inconvenience if you want community.
It's a strange thing to come back to, because when I started my neocities I desperately wanted to pull away from everyone I knew. Wanted to scrub my identity clean and start fresh, in hopes that maybe I could foster something here instead. It was also, at least in my head, a chance to meet people who would get to know me as I was now, and not the somewhat distant artist who posted their artwork and left. Sounds melodramatic, but it was the truth once. I think I'm alright with who I am now, even if it's a forever work-in-progress.
I am still curious about online communities though? To be honest I've never participated very much beyond drawing occasional fan art; I always lurked at the fringes and never initiated. I was hoping to use this platform (and melonland forums) as practice to engage with a larger group, but again. Didn't stick around often enough.
…I'm saying this as if I can never do it again. That's not true…though I do think unless like, I find myself with a whole lot of free time suddenly, my neocities is just not a priority.
OH BUT! I do see the messages on my guestbook. I will get around to replying I swear, I appreciate it all so much and am always surprised that people find my page despite the long gaps in my time here lol.
Okok that's the TLDR:
Up-keeping my neocities will be a casual thing.
That's literally it.
wow very bad at updating.
What did i do...
- Played DnD again. Very fun
- Walked at a beach park with my family. Took a bunch of pictures
- Met up with some friends from forever ago. Got to talk smack with one of them and it was so fun to just bitch about things.
- work is fucking crazy now
Work Stuff
*There was an extremely lengthy complaint about work here but I've decided to not leave it up.
Happy valentines!
I went to a rug tufting workshop with my girlfriend today. She chose to make a cat face while I went with a frog.
It is surprising hard to rug tuft. The tufting gun is heavy, and you have to press hard against the canvas to make sure the yarn goes through. But overall quite an enjoyable experience!
I won't deny that afterwards I really wanted to make some space to rugtuft at home. But I know it'll be one of those things I am fixated on for 2 weeks and then leave for years xD
Other things...
- Read a sci-fi novel called Ra by qntm.
- Helped to hosted game jam. Felt hope and camaraderie for community. Quite pumped to continue contributing.
- Dyed my hair. I'm thinking about getting a tattoo next.
- Participated in hourly comic day. I finally caught it on the day itself and not late
- DnD starting again, excited to play my new character Nathaniel Lo! (His nickname Nat and Lo being a fun coincidence, as he is someone who really wants to upload his consciousness to the Internet. Like. Inter-nat. 'Lo' being the first message sent over the internet.)
- Lunar New Year is coming up, it's going to be very busy.
...lol so it has been 3 months.
I think about 5 since I last properly posted. But hi, I'm alive. I'm doing pretty swell. Hm, I feel like I should shift my mindset so that I'm recording this blog for myself and not for others, I realise that I write as if I'm telling someone my day to day.
...I mean. Kinda.
Anyway semantics!
So many things happened that it's hard to pick which one to go into detail first. All good things to be sure!
But for myself I'll list it here:
- Went to Japan!
- Got into pour-over coffee
- Celebrated the new year
- Art Jammed with friends
- Started trying to be active online again
- Went to a fund-raising birthday party for Palestine
- Started playing Pikmin Bloom
I doubt I have the energy to really get into these individually, but I will try get the stand out parts.
Japan Trip
I twisted my ankle on the first day, and got food poisoning at the end. So I think my experience was pretty lukewarm...
But if I don't consider those, all in all it was a pretty good trip! I went with my friends and partner, all of which were great sports while I was deadweight.
It was pretty much a whirlwind of shopping, temple visiting and food. My favourite stop was Katsuo-ji Temple, famous for the many darumas scattered across the temple ground.
My fortune told me that, if I were to find myself content, I should keep moving forward. And I went ??? Sure. Wrote on the back that I want a fulfilling life, went about my day.
Had a crisis about how I have not been engaging in what I cared for in a long time, and have been a shell of a person. I want to make art again (work does not count) that I resonate with. It is probably the most transparent way I can communicate and feel seen, and the very first step to getting there is to make things.
Art Jam
I needed to see my friends or I'll go crazy, and an excuse to clear out my ancient art supplies.
So my friends and I organised a little meet-up at my place to art jam together -- medium: acrylic paint on canvas!
It was extremely chill, there's a surprising amount of concentration involved so we didn't yap the time away like I thought we would. Super locked into our paintings.
In the end, I got this!
Looking forward to organising more of these sessions :D